It’s very intense to live this way; very intense. Out of only intuition and desire?! It’s like I’m saturated in sensitivity to everything all the time!
(Nodding) Welcome, to the jungle. (Still noddling); [Five minutes later] I really enjoy this feeling of being surprised. Never knowing what’s coming? Your saturation, I exactly feel this saturation… I get scared.
I have the loveliest friends <3
(but only check the mailbox about once a month)
I bought my dear friend (and talented photographer) this macro camera lens that attaches to the iPhone, for Christmas. Above, he used it to take a picture of my eye (while on a moving subway, no less) and within my pupil is the reflection of the lens. You can also see the outline of my contact lens, and this was taken with a cell phone camera! Technology… goddamn.
Discovered on my floor: My brain described by a friend: “A rainbow tornado with lightening and the Raisin Bran sunshine smiling behind the whole thing—wearing sunglasses and being like “Hey.”
I’d like you to know that I love you, now, because I know you will someday be someone I miss. For all we are is this—As two kindred souls who spark in occasional passing yet never create a current. You are cute with your expressions, and funny when you curse, and you smoke cigarettes with the same European fluster with which you do everything; at once both not-giving-a-fuck and boiling with anxiety! I can anticipate your mannerisms and the way you laugh at your own jokes. I can predict the intonations of your voice as you make them while you speak. And I like all of these things about you. But we have nothing really to say to each other. It is little more than an acquaintanceship, and we are both more than satisfied with this. But for this reason we will surely become lost in one another’s tides, as surely as two grains of sand in the sea, drifting from the shore of a present moment into the depths of some forgotten past, until one day by chance I may remember you and in that instant the lost eccentricities of you will spin again together in my mind, and with this image I will miss you so terribly. I’ll realize my age, how much has passed since I last saw you—It will seem longer, relative to the closer friendships and relationships in my current life, as I will miss them more regularly and these revisits to them in my mind will distort the perception of the lost time between us and other losses. Should I run into you in twenty years, I’d find only a glimmer of this young man I know in the eyes of his much older face, a glimmer much like that you’ll see in mine, and with that we’ll spark again and feel a sudden sense of connection to each other, but of course, we will have nothing to say to each other then, as we have nothing to say to each other now. But I do love you now. You are a stake in my reality, a character always in the background, a pale of camaraderie that would feel incomplete without you. I do love you now, because I know you will someday be someone I miss.
Humans float in hollow logs, afraid of so little…
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily.
On Monday night. I went to Nathan’s and after a cozy hour in the Panda Pit—after a glass of red wine and chat with the lovely Lois—after massages and cuddling, Devendra Banhart in the background, after that—Midnight. Nathan and Mark Winkel took us and the fabulous aerialist Maxine out on the East River in Dumbo in their canoe. The weather and water were still, no jackets, no signs of life except for a few diners at a restaurant on the river, all couples too smitten to look to the window to notice us, and later the subway racketing above our supine bodies delighting over angles of the Manhattan Bridge not seen by the vast majority of most. The whole of the city seen with not only new perspective but with a new quiet, a new peace, and then a softly sung round of Row Row Row Your Boat before pulling into the small strand near the carousel and dragging the boat back to the warehouse.
Don and I once thought to make a website called NOkCupid.com, as a place to showcase the gems of the online dating minefield. Unfortunately, someone less funny than us had a similar idea and already made it (as a—poorly executed— Tumblr). But instead of posting various finds for the reader to conclude the punch-line on his own, this website is a cruel photoblog in which each photo is captioned with the blogger’s obnoxious personal commentary. The Joan Rivers of OkCupid, you could say… Though I’m kind of being the Roger Ebert of Tumblr with this critic’s review/ “Post-It notes were really my idea” complex of unfounded indignation. w/e. We would’ve made it funny. Another one bites the dust, I guess.
My artist friend Kevin turned me into “the universe”/ an embodiment of “oneness” / I don’t really remember the concept… to be a part of his exhibit on 11/11/11. This is one of the shots he’s worked on. Pretty neat!
